Welcome Adventures,
to Character chat. In this new article I’ll be talking with
characters from newly released and soon to be released books. Today’s
guest is Lawrence from The Lawrence Chronicles an Anthology,
Welcome, so tell my
adventurers about your world.
Well, most people
wouldn’t believe it. I don’t know why the Big Man gave you
clearance for this in the first place, but it’s not my place to
argue. I work as Head of North Pole security doing one of the most
dangerous and ridiculous jobs in the world. It’s all pretty
classified. I don’t think I’d believe it myself if I hadn’t
been living it for six years.
Let me start by saying the North Pole isn’t at all like the movies.
First off, we don’t celebrate Christmas all year round. How
exhausting would that be? I mean the talking reindeer, the elves, all
that stuff is routine, but everyone’s just doing his or her job. We
don’t really start celebrating until the day after Thanksgiving.
Thank the North for that. The city’s got some pretty sweet
technology too, above and beyond what I’ve seen in the normal
world. Pretty handy when I need a weapon in a pinch.
Yeah. You normally
wouldn’t think of someone working at the North Pole as someone who
needed any fancy weapons, but every rule has its exceptions.
Working for Santa isn’t all candy canes and hot cocoa. I often
find myself in situations where I need my trusty side arm just as
much as I did back in the Marine Corps. Yetis, witches, trolls, all
are common place. You didn’t think the legendary world was limited
to Santa and his flying reindeer, did you? The mythical world is a
package deal, kid. If it weren’t, I’d be out of a job. You get
the bad along with the leprechauns, elves, and flying reindeer.
Yetis, bigfoot, werewolves, you name it. The world I live in is full
of mythical creatures, magic, and surprisingly advanced elf
technology. It’s my job to defend the North Pole and its assets
from all hostile threats, and I’ve earned my fair share of scars
doing it. But on the whole, it’s not so bad. The pay’s
reasonable, and I’ve got some pretty decent people and animals to
work with. Even if Donner can be a regular pain in the neck.
What are some of the
places you’d recommend my adventurers see in your world?
You sure you have
clearance for this? Alright. Well. It’s all pretty classified. If
you’re looking for a pretty tourist spot the North Pole itself is
breathtaking enough. Highly recommended. Decent view, pretty
landscape, nice enough as long as you don’t mind the dangerous
temperatures and wild yetis. I’ll admit it’s one of the most
beautiful places I’ve ever worked. The Aurora Borealis on a clear
night, now that’s something to behold.
Loch Ness is high on my list too. Yeah. Loch Ness. As in the Loch
Ness monster in Scotland’s Loch Ness. Just because I work
for Santa doesn’t mean I’m stuck at the North Pole 24/7. My job
involves quite a bit of traveling, checking on outposts, and visiting
other creatures that aren’t supposed to exist. Like Nessie. She’s
one of the many mythical creatures Santa has his people looking
after. The Loch is one of my favorites to visit. Nice place, and
Nessie’s kind of fond of me. Plus, it’s relatively goblin free.
Yes, goblins are real too. Who did you think was responsible for your
socks going missing from the dryer? There’s more magic in your
everyday life than you’ll probably ever know. Ask Sprinkles: the
old elf will tell you all about it.
Tell my adventurers
about some of the technology in your world.
I don’t understand
half of it. You should have seen the chaos when the elves upgraded
the interactive heads up display in my helmet. I could hardly see
straight with all those messages and circles flying around the screen
inches from my face. It was a nightmare. Thankfully, I got Taffy to
reprogram the HUD before it drove me insane. Taffy is one of the head
technicians in the lab responsible for most of the technology in the
city. Honestly, I’m not sure how much of the tech is magic and how
much is just regular elf and dwarf ingenuity. My uniform’s kind of
like a mash of both. I wear a specially designed thermal suit that
keeps me from freezing when the temperature outside drops to forty
below. The suit comes along with a kind of sleek, motorcycle looking
helmet that keeps my head from becoming an ice cube while I’m on
patrol. It’s an extra measure of protection when I’m driving a
snowmobile or battling some bad tempered mythical creature.
Everyone on the
security force has got these stunners too. See? Shoot out pulses of
blue light that can knock a goblin unconscious from twenty feet away.
The lab also makes an array of special powders that can be used for
breaking through fancy locks or disabling security cameras. My
personal favorite elf invention happens to be the polar copter, but I
haven’t been able to fly yet. It’s impressive enough. More like
something out of a science fiction movie than something you’d
expect little Christmas elves to be flying around in. But I’ve yet
to get my piloting license. I’m pretty sure Peppermint is avoiding
lessons on purpose.
How would you
describe your fellow characters?
Plenty of words come
to mind, some of which, as Head of North Pole and Magic Relations
Security, I’m obliged not to repeat. Had to give up swearing and
smoking when I joined Santa’s security force. My fellow coworkers
are competent. Most of them. Donner’s reliable. Saved my life more
than once, and he keeps his head in an emergency. Sprinkles can be a
regular pain in the neck but over the years I’ve learned to trust
him too. He usually turns out to be right anyway, no matter how
ridiculous his stories sound. I guess that comes from a hundred
years’ experience being the head of security. He had the job long
before I did. Let’s see, Tina, Marshmallow, Yorik, Tinker, I work
with dozens of people, some human some not. It’d be impossible to
name them all. Most of them are selfless and practical, and I trust
them with my life. Donner especially, but don’t tell him that. We
go way back. There was one time-
Hang on…
Alright. Sorry to
cut our interview short, but I gotta go. Apparently, there’s a
troll running around loose in New York Central Park. Santa wants it
dealt with before it, I don’t know, eats someone. Pleasure talking
with you. Make sure you encrypt any copies you make of this
interview. You don’t look like a security breach, but I don’t
want anything left to chance. Later.
Thank you for coming
to talk with us, and can’t wait to read all about you.
